In English, I want to sleep. Last night by far was the worse of all seven days Sho has been alive. I felt anger, regret, thoughts of suicide, sadness, more anger and more suicide. Nothing, absolutely nothing could make Sho sleep last night and stop from crying. He was never quiet for more than 30 minutes or so and I probably got about an hour total in sleep. What do you do when a baby is going buckwild and you can’t ask the guy “what’s wrong?”. To make matters worse yesterday happened to be raul’s birthday so we went out drinking, nothing worse than burning-out to sounds of a baby screaming as if his eyes are being eaten out. It never ended, luckily we had a date with the pediatrician so we got some answers. Turns out most likely something Ray ate made Sho not so much, so we got the breast pump and backup milk in the fridge now so it doesn’t happen again. Ok I am too tired I am out. I pray Sho is happy today and my burrito con sho stays warm.